I had to learn how to get back up.
I am learning how to stand-up paddle board. It’s something I wanted to challenge myself to do because it is enjoyable while also being difficult. You have to stay upright, balancing on an 10-11(ish) ft surfboard of sorts and paddle at the same time. I’m not what you call a coordinated person - so this is a lot for me to execute. You can paddle by sitting on the board, kneeling on the board, or standing. I really like standing on the board because 1) I have a higher vantage point that allows me better views of the shore and wildlife 2) I achieve a sense of accomplishment because it’s difficult 3) I think I look cooler when I stand!
The first few times I went out paddling I was really nervous about standing up. So nervous that I was locking my knees, my feet were cramping, and my body was very rigid. This makes standing on the board even more difficult and the whole experience less enjoyable. I was disappointed I wasn’t enjoying it more because I had such high hopes for my paddle boarding skills and coolness! This was supposed to be a great learning experience and instead I was worried about falling off the whole time. And then I repeated that idea again. I am so worried about falling off that I am not even enjoying the experience.
What was I so worried about? I know how to swim. I actually love being in the water, so falling into the water was not a concern. I did not bring anything with me that would be ruined if it got wet. I even wear my swimsuit, so destruction of property wasn’t a concern. It is embarrassing to fall off the board, but quite honestly embarrassment has never stopped me from doing anything else! So this was nothing new and I am totally okay looking silly!
So I said it again, what was I so worried about? Then I discovered it - I was worried about falling off, because I had not learned how to get back on the board while in open water. I needed to learn and practice getting back on the board in open water and then I wouldn’t have to be worried about falling off. I could actually be present and enjoy the experience.
Not only am I not a coordinated person, I am not a small person. Dragging my wet body up onto my paddle board is not an easy task. So I practiced. I learned where I needed to put my hands on the board to best leverage my strength. I figured out what handles were the most helpful. I found out exactly where I needed to put my leg on the board to haul myself out of the water. I practiced and watched some YouTube videos (of course) and now I know how to get back up. I am allowing myself to have more fun, see more birds, and ultimately improve my SUP skills because I know when I fall - I am able to get back up.
This took reflection, intention, and deliberate action, but I did it. I am not a great paddle-boarder. Hopefully I will get there, but I am having more fun and learning more because I am not riddled with worry or fear. I know how to get back up.
